Sad or Beautiful?

Is this sad or beautiful?

you tell me…

Personally, I am a person who thinks romances over the internet are not as magical or beautiful as they were in the times before the internet.

The internet allows more people to be more connected, quicker and easier. But this leads them to being more lazy. Maybe one of the reasons divorce is so common now a days is because of the internet. Everything has become so easy to do, that when something goes wrong or becomes difficult, we just push it away, forget about it, or break up.

Before the internet, if people wanted to find a partner, they would have to go out. Usually this place would be a hangout, a bar or a club. Right from the start you would meet a person who shares at least one interest of yours. Either the music, or social drinking, or the view from the hangout. A common interest of Facebook, or Farmville is not really enough to base a relationship on, since it is something you do alone.

Of course I'm not saying that the internet is bad for relationships. Just the meeting over the internet can be difficult. The internet is world wide, which means if I am on a website talking to random people and suddenly I meet a person who has the same interests as I do and is otherwise a perfect match for me, there is a chance she lives in a country, or even a city that is inaccessible to me. I live in Germany. Say the person I meet lives in California – I can't just buy a ticket and fly over there for a week based on a "relationship" we have on the internet.

I like the internet as a way of continuing a relationship. For example, my best friend lives in Denmark. We met at school, the way we met and actually became friends is a story is still like to tell people today. But thanks to Skype, we can chat with each other almost everyday as if we were sitting right next to each other. But, we still met in real life.

There's a similar story with my girlfriend. I met her while playing sports – I found her online, and we started chatting. But we still met each other twice a week at training. So we had human contact, not just sitting in front of the monitor all day.

I am a redditor, which means I read the news and other stuff through reddit. One of my favorite subreddits is called f7u12 – also known as rage comics. There is a character called "forever alone…"

This guy

…and I am sick of him. Usually the comics involve him sitting in front of his computer complaining about how everyone else around him is in a relationship, happy or just better off than him. And they are all the same. They wonder why they aren't in a relationship, while slurping down their third bottle of soda, eating their second pizza and their ass forever bonded to the crushed chair that is barely holding their weight. The answer to the problem is very simple, and they all know the answer. They just don't do it because it's too hard.


I have two friends who haven't had a relationship for a long time, if ever. They both do not fit the description above, but are still alone in the sense of a relationship. But here's the difference – they don't complain. Why? Because they have friends that out-weight the need of a girlfriend. Sure a girlfriend is great, but you won't be wallowing in self-pity all the time. A here's a tip – girls don't like a guy who is constantly doubting themselves. Probably one of the reasons why the "forever alone" guy is forever alone.

If anyone is reading this who is needs help finding a girlfriend or friends at all, remember this…

and that's the problem

I'm not saying we should all go to war, just be more of a man. A real man. Oh, and go outside and do stuff. It's fun.

Out of Bed

Usually I wake up everyday at 7:15 am, take a shower, dress, eat breakfast and do all other morning duties. My brother should get up at 7, take a shower and be done by 7:15. Since school started this year, he has difficulties getting out of bed. Most likely because he stays up until 1 or 2 in the morning. So this allows me to doze off a couple of times before I hear him in and out of the shower.

Today, I slept until 1 pm. I woke up a couple of times in those four hours, but I kept on thinking to myself, "What's the point of getting up?"

I've written on my "professional blog" a lot about how depressed and uninspired my school and future makes me. When I'm at school, and actually doing something, I will be completely motivated, work hard and be happy. However, as soon as I have the weeks off, I plunge into a deep darkness.

My Prison

It just annoys me that I sit here and do nothing all day. I could go swimming, or write a script or take pictures. The motivation is just missing. When I think about swimming, I immediately think that there's no point. When I think about writing Koyasan, I think that it won't be made anyway, so why bother. When I want to take pictures, I think that they won't even be that great anyway.

This goes back to the fact that there isn't a single thing in my life that I love doing. Something that I can do that will lift my spirits no matter what. Also one of the reasons why I think I'm struggling with my film making – I just don't want to do it. I've always been a jack of all trades, but never a master. I guess I can keep my head above water anywhere, but I never excelled at anything in particular. Swimming used to be the one thing I was good in, but when I think about it I never was really good. Just better than the people in my club and most of the people in my region. I like to tell people that I was going to the German championship because I qualified for 200m backstroke and even had a chance for a medal, but then ripped my tri-cep. What I don't say, is that medal was bronze, and the chance was a very small chance.

Even if the one thing I enjoyed in life would be picking up garbage I'd happily do that for the rest of my life. But there just isn't anything that excites me…

This is getting too depressing for me. I'm going to see if I can force myself to go swimming tomorrow. Maybe force myself to write Koyasan. I guess I always thought I wouldn't have to force myself to do something just so I can do something.